It's Father's Day, and I feel compelled to say a few things regarding the occasion.
First of all, most of us aren't fathers for the sake of recognition. It's a job that is by design tough. I think this a big reason there's so few good men out there willing to be fathers, and this kind of sets me off a little since if you are a crappy father you're either going to end up needing my help with some problems of your own, or you're going to create problems for me later on by not being there for your children. I think real fathers appreciate the recognition from time to time, but it's not something we ask for in a holiday designed to sell more stuff to people.
Second, it's ridiculous we have an epidemic of bad fathers or no fathers in children's lives to the point where there's a National Fatherhood Council or some such nonsense our federal nannies in Washington think we need. "Take time to be a Dad" is the theme of their catchy sound bites, and I get subjected to them almost daily now. Do we really need federal programs designed to teach men how to be good fathers to their children? The fact that someone thought we did--and actually executed on said idea--rather disturbs me.
Third, here's to my Father--Norm--who managed to raise me to be a decent human being. He's taught me a lot in life, and I'm in a position where I can say I'm lucky to get to spend more time with him now and I can teach him a thing or two. He's managed to be there for me through some very rough patches in my life, and the best I can do is try to lead by his example and make sure my two children are raised like he tried to raise me. Here's to all the other fathers I know--good, strong men who work tirelessly for their families on and off the job. You deserve all the credit in the world for being amazing role models to your children and friends and brothers to me.
Finally, on this Father's Day, I think we should all celebrate the achievements of one Father in particular. This man gave birth to a king, and that king has managed to conquer every aspect of the world in which he lives. This Father nurtured a Conqueror, a true champion of all life has to offer, and a Beast Incarnate. I give special thanks on this day to Richard Lesnar, father to the One in Twenty-One and One, Brock Lesnar.
I tried to find a picture of Richard Lesnar, but I couldn't on a quick Google Search. I think that speaks to Richard Lesnar's manliness as much as anything else. He's not here to get compliments--he's content to let his amazing son Brock Lesnar soak all the accolades for doing amazing work like dumping John Cena on his fat stupid head with sixteen German Suplexes.
Incidentally, because this is my blog and it's Father's Day, I'm going to post this picture of Brock Lesnar dumping John Cena on his fat head.
Brock Lesnar is also famous for ending the Undertaker's vaunted Streak at Wrestlemania. He beat the crap out of an old guy in a Hellraiser costume and made a bunch of children cry in New Orleans. I think Richard Lesnar would approve of this, because Richard Lesnar did not raise a special snowflake child who cares about puny things like feelings. Richard Lesnar created a man-beast that feeds on the blood of the innocent. Again, because this is my blog and it amuses me to do so, here is a gallery of disappointed faces from when Richard Lesnar's Son Broke The Undertaker's Streak At Wrestlemania.
Richard Lesnar's kid also says witty things that make for great music videos. I have inserted one such remark and the subsequent released video in this post. Marketing genius, Brock is.
I think today we should all thank Richard Lesnar for his invaluable contribution to our society. His tireless work in raising the human equivalent of a Terminator should not be forgotten. The world may praise Brock Lesnar's accomplishments, but it's Father's Day, and I think we should celebrate Richard Lesnar for giving us Brock Lesnar.
Thank you, Brock Lesnar's Dad.