Sometimes You Have To Say "Fuck It."
Applying certain techniques I’ve learned recently, I sought out and obtained Marc’s personal email. I politely told him I was going through a bit of a rough spot, and would love to speak with him about how he handled one in his life. I composed the email with nothing but respect.
One minute later I’m on the phone with none other than Marc Fucking By God Randazza.
“I was sitting at my desk, and saw your email, and thought now was as good a time as any.”
I took the call in another room because I wanted the experience of cursing with Marc Randazza while discussing an issue concerning a business deal where I got screwed out of three grand.
Marc did as Marc does, which is put the entire item into perspective I want to discuss.
“Some times you have to say “Fuck it.”
And that concept alone was worth the entire phone call. I was so focused on the three grand that I’d lost in this deal and how pissed and ready to pick a fight I was with this company and the bastards that are there and Marc put it into sheer, clear perspective.
“You’re wallowing in your own self pity over three grand.”
Who the fuck was I to wallow in pity over three grand? Yes, it’s a substantial sum of money right now, but by wasting my energy over thinking about people who screwed me out of money I wasn’t doing the things I would be doing: working on my new projects, going to the gym, cooking dinner for my kids, and writing.
And Marc did a great service to me by pointing that out. I was wallowing in self-pity, and no man worthy of respect needs to ever get in that spot. That’s when you know someone’s a legit guy you can trust. The moment they call you out on your shit because they want you to see it.
But that statement, “Sometimes you have to say “Fuck It” is worth considering. Yeah, I lost $3,000 at a time when that was money to pay bills. Was it really worth letting someone control my own emotions, my own time, and my own new-found life direction by wasting time and energy on their bullshit? It wasn’t. In this case, the best thing to do was say “Fuck it” and walk off, knowing that tomorrow I’ll be working on new things, writing for Fault Lines, and delving into more projects.
Where am I going with all this? Simple. You will get screwed at some point. You will get mad about it. You will then do a cost-benefit analysis to see if it’s worth picking a fight, or whether it’s best to say “fuck it” and walk on.
And when you say “Fuck it,” and you do it sincerely, you are released from those negative emotions and freed to get the work done as you please. I went back and cooked dinner for my kids. I went to the gym and banged out some sets. I came home and had my focus to do a book review and write. I’m going to go play with my son in a minute and think about the next book I want to read.
Sometimes, saying “Fuck It” is the most empowering mantra you can have.